“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” – Brene Brown
The people we choose to surround ourselves with, the relationships we tend to foster, often reflect our own personal beliefs and values. The connection two people share is bred from commonalities – interests, religion, background, morals and the list goes on and on.
Regardless of the relationship – romantic or platonic – that connection is often an indicator to the longevity of the pairing. However, if the connection is bred out of falsehoods, created in order to unfairly secure the attention of another, one will rarely derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
But human beings aren’t accustomed to being alone.
When faced with the silence of loneliness, they will often form a connection with people they share very little in common with. They will compromise their beliefs and alter what they value most of all in an attempt to prevent loneliness from creeping in and taking hold.
Mark Twain once wrote, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
And that dear readers is essentially what we’re revealing each and every time we pretend to be someone we’re not. When the connection two people share is based on falsehoods rather than reality.
As I’ve continually said in this blog, with age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes the understanding that we can choose who we surround ourselves with, and in turn the kind of relationship which will make us feel seen, heard and valued.
Remember, “you are your best thing” (Toni Morrison).
Surround yourself with people who bring you joy.
People who appreciate the simplicities of life, not indulge in materialism. Who look up to you with admiration, not down at you with judgement. But above all, people who understand that “what draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.” (C.S. Lewis).